Elsie would have turned 4 this week. She's very much a part of our family and our day to day lives. The boys talk about her (B asks lots of questions about her) and Brian and I visit her tree regularly (sometimes alone, sometimes together and often as a family or parts of our family). Her birthday/anniversary is always a day that we spend as a family thinking of her and celebrating her (not the way we had intended, but have found our own traditions). If you know me, you know I dislike balloons, A LOT. Its a joke amongst everyone I know, including the kids who constantly make fun of me. Ridiculous fear, I know. However, on her special day, Brian takes the boys to get pink balloons for each of us and we attach a little note and send them away. B thought she might like an orange balloon and chose an orange one for her. I don't think she wanted that because that's the only one that popped before they flew away.
While her death is always sad, and the day definitely triggers emotions, I realized this year I wasn't crying so much out of sadness and missing her (though that was part). But rather out of joy for the love and support I still feel from friends and family. After 4 years, I still woke up to texts and emails with the kindest messages. She's not forgotten by people closest to us and my tears were more out of gratefulness for what we do have and how much we are surrounded by a tight community.
Without fail, when we go to the gardens, A clears off her plaque immediately. Little B has started following and helping. Its especially difficult to see this time of year with all the leaves, though also a beautiful time to visit. A and his friends left her some candy the other night and wanted to see if it was still there.
No comments:
Post a Comment