Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Little Entrepreneur

Adler: "mom, I'm going to invent something to scratch my butt whenever it needs to be scratched!"


Saturday, December 27, 2014

Another enormous dino

As I mentioned before, Adler's class had a dinosaur unit.  They did lots of fun projects, but one of the most engaging things was this enormous dinosaur made out of junk.  Adler is the self proclaimed dino expert and the whole class learned who to go to with questions.  At first I thought this was a bit obnoxious and wanted to make sure all the kids were heard and that he wasn't bossy.  I was assured that he was a positive leader, who included everyone and was really helpful.
One day Adler and I were a little late getting to school and when Adler finally got there, all the kids had been waiting to work on the dinosaur.  They ran over to see what his next plan was and Adler began happily explaining the next steps and everyone continued the work.

Friday, December 26, 2014

Little Rock Climber

One of our good family friends had a holiday party.  They hired several 8th graders from Stanley to watch all the kids while adults socialized.  In the parents bedroom is this enormous rock climbing wall, which Adler and a little friend of his climbed over and over again with the babysitters supervising.

Dear Santa


Landon, thoughtful as always, left this drawing and note for Santa.


Thursday, December 25, 2014

Dino Art

 Adler is completely obsessed with dinosaurs.  He talks non stop about them, only wants to read books that are about dinosaurs (and prefers non fiction), and has embraced dino art.  Above is his 7 foot ankylosaurus that he made at school.  I went to pick him up from his enrichment and the teachers were handing each parent their child's junk creation.  All the parents were given something small, maybe something made out of a a shoebox or toilet paper roll.  I was expecting the same.  His teacher pointed to this large creation and said, "that's Adlers dinosaur!"  We had to deconstruct it to fit it into our car and then it lived in our dining room for 6 weeks.  After awhile, I convinced him that it would be happier on our front porch, which is where it is currently.
This dipoloducus was drawn on a white board at school and so I took a picture of it.  His art has really improved with his dino interest.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Hypothesis on how reindeer fly

The boys and I needed to do a lot of errands today and spent some time in the car.  At one point Adler asked me how reindeer fly.  I learned long ago when I was teaching preschool to throw the question back onto them if you don't have a good answer.  I replied, "What do you think?"  They laughed and talked for a bit and then I heard them collaboratively come up with a theory.  Here it is:
Adler:  "My hypothesis (I like to make hypothesises like buddy from dino train mommy) is that Santa's best friend is nocturnal."
Landon: "Yea!  And he drives a truck with big fans on the top that blow the reindeer and allow them to fly"
Adler: "Yea, and since there are so many more kids now, there are probably a lot of Santas who all have friends that drive trucks"
Landon: "Adler, there is only one santa, you mean ELVES!"
Adler: "Oh, yea, Elves, there are probably a lot of elves that drive trucks and blow the reindeer up in the air to fly around."
They were completely serious and, mostly, agreed on this imaginative hypothesis.

Monday, December 22, 2014

Blossom of Lights

We met up with Adler's friend Marin on the opening night of Blossoms of Light.  It was a warm evening (so warm that Landon refused to bring an extra jacket or sweatshirt, but decided he actually needed one once we got there and so he wore my coat).  The place was empty and so Marin and Adler had a blast running through the lights pretending they were dinosaurs and roaring at everyone and everything.  

Sunday, December 21, 2014

Field trip for Adler

A few weeks ago I drove on Adler's field trip to the Museum of Nature and Science for a supplemental info session on dinosaurs (they'd been studying dinos in class).  The teacher asked a few questions (that Adler knew the answers to, but was too shy to speak up and raise his hand).  After awhile, it was clear to both Adler and I that the teacher didn't really know what she was talking about and Adler had had enough and blurted out, "They did NOT live in the cretaceous period, they lived in the Jurassic".  She had been busted and was clearly embarrassed and our "dino expert" (as he refers to himself as), was very proud.
Adler has really embraced his friendships this year and has even had his first "drop off" play dates (a big deal when you're 5!)  These two guys above and two of his buddies at school.

Saturday, December 20, 2014

School Holiday Performance



LT wore a tie for the first time at his school holiday performance (for real anyway, I guess he wore one for a silly picture once). An email from school went out earlier in the week saying that the boys should wear slacks and button down shirts as well as coat and tie, if they hand them. LT's wardrobe has nothing of the sort so we (okay Kari actually did the work) scrambled and got him a new shirt, pants and a tie during the week. We decided to skip the coat. You can still see the right-from-the-store folds in his shirt. And he was definitely not the only one with them so I'm pretty sure we weren't the only ones that had to get new clothes for the occasion.     


And Adler ran around the gym before the show.

Backyard smores

4 cute boys making smore's in our friend's backyard.  

Friday, December 19, 2014

Treat making

Growing up, our family had lots of fun traditions around the holidays.  We made my great aunt's cinnamon rolls to have Christmas morning, decorated cookies together, held a family bookclub holiday party and/or a New Years eve party etc.  I have tried to create traditions with our kids that I hope they will remember in the same way.  In addition to making cinnamon rolls each year we also have made these scrumptious holiday treats.  I started this when LT was 2 because they are super easy to make and a 2 year old felt involved.  They consist of melting hershey kisses on pretzels and then putting an m and m on top to squish down the chocolate.  Our kids could do something much more complicated baking wise at this point, however, LT reminds me each year that we "always make the pretzel treats."  So, the tradition continues.
I just read about a super cute tradition in Iceland where each member in a family gives each other a book Christmas eve and then spends the night reading together.  I love this and hope to start it in our family!

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Life is Good


I just love this picture.  Two sweet little boys, reading a dinosaur book together, waiting for their lunch.   We have so much to be thankful for.

Monday, December 1, 2014

My baby girl


"Baby is dead" was the subject of the message that popped into my inbox as I passively and habitually checked my email during a morning meeting. Later I would see that I'd missed multiple calls and texts. How could I have missed them? As I'd been doing for days now, I'd specifically put my phone on vibrate before I went to the meeting so I'd be available. But this time was even worse. How long had Kari been alone with this?

Driving to the hospital was kind of a blur but I remember tears and anger. Mostly anger. Anger at traffic and construction detours and the parking lot with no spaces and everything that was delaying me. Kari's parents were already there and I was angry at them too for being there. That anger subsided somewhat though as I came to realize it was misplaced. I was really angry with myself for not being there in the first place (and soon enough realized how grateful I was that her parents could there when I wasn't and for all the incredible support that's come from family). Earlier that morning Kari had said she hadn't felt the baby move for a while and was going to call the doctor. We'd been though something seemingly similar with Adler and, after a long afternoon and lots of tests at the doctor's office, it turned out to be nothing. Alder was perfectly fine. So checking in with the doctor this time seemed like the right thing to do but I don't think either of us really thought (or would admit to ourselves anyway) that it was anything serious. That's the rationalization for why I went to work that morning rather than going with Kari to the Doctor. I've done a lot of rationalizing. But the guilt was overwhelming and anger was a way of trying to combat it.

I was in Jerusalem near the end of September. I am not a religious person (a self-described devout agnostic) and I am humbly ignorant of so much of the religious, cultural and historic significance of the area. I was offered the chance to pray at the Western Wall. Perhaps it was naive or even hypocritical of me but I did. It felt genuine. My intent was genuine. I prayed that all people (myself included) might find a greater capacity for empathy and compassion towards others and that they might also be more accepting and loving of themselves. I didn't pray for the heath of my soon-to-be-born baby. I didn't think I needed to. I didn't want to be selfish. I didn't think I needed to be.

Her name was Elsie Sloan Campbell.

Elsie is her name.

We hadn't told anyone her name and writing or saying it was hard. Almost as though by avoiding writing it down I could somehow escape the fact that she was gone. I left the name blank on all the paperwork I filled out the first day in the hospital. I'm ashamed to admit that there was also part of me that wanted to save her name for maybe another baby, a baby that hadn't died. But it was freeing to finally say her name, to finally write it down, to acknowledge her as a person that is, and always will be, a part of our family and our shared experience. Adler easily says what was at first so hard for me comprehend, "Elsie will always be part of our family and we will always love her."

While the words of a five-year-old sometimes bring a simplicity and clarity that escapes us adults, they aren't that always that easy or uplifting. My heart just broke as I held Elsie's lifeless little body and Adler asked, "will she grow up?"

I love you, my sweet little Elsie. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. In the abstract, before I even knew for sure you were a girl I questioned my abilities as a father to raise, nurture and protect a little girl. Daddy's little girl. My little girl. But I never even had the chance. I failed you before I even knew you. I'm so sorry.

It's no secret that I was more than a little hesitant about having a third child. It took some serious convincing from Kari and even then my doubts persisted. The truth is that I didn't want a third. But the truth is also that I wanted her. I wanted Elsie in our family. Reconciling those feelings and the inordinate guilt that comes along with them has been too much at times and a kind of numbness sets in. But numbness takes its own toll. I don't know how to grieve for a child I never even got to know. I'm thankful for the times I can break though the numbness and guilt and just feel sad. Seeing another family leave the maternity unit with a healthy little baby wearing the standard issue blue and pink hat brought me to my knees in tears in the hallway. A few days later I cried watching Landon play gently with his almost-one-year-old cousin. So I welcome the tears. I'm thankful for the tears.

I wanted to write something about Elsie. Kari shared the news a while ago in words that are more concise and eloquent than mine. But I still felt compelled to write. I'd hoped it would help me express and work though some of my feelings. Maybe it did. It took me much longer than I'd expected. I wrote many more words than I'd planned yet feel I've said much less than I'd hoped. One more thing I need to say, however, is how truly thankful we are for the overwhelming kindness and support we've received from family and friends and school and work communities. I couldn't possibly list everything and thank everyone here but the outpouring of support in so many different ways has been nothing short of remarkable. And remarkably helpful. Thank you all so much.

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Thankful from A to Z


Though it's a difficult time for our family, we do also have a great deal to be thankful for and (fittingly I guess) Thanksgiving day spent with family was a nice reminder of that. Some highlights include the boys playing with their little cousin and Adler, accompanied by uncle Steve in his turkey hat, doing a performance of the dinosaurs a to z song.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Elsie Sloan Campbell


Brian and I have struggled with this post.  How do we announce the birth of our beautiful baby girl, Elsie Sloan, while also having to share the devastating news that she died?  On October 29, 2014, at 38.5 weeks pregnant, I went into my Dr. because I hadn't felt our baby move.  Adler was a similar story and I went into the Drs. office not having felt him move, was hooked up to a heart rate monitor, read my book and went home.  I naively thought I would have a similar experience.  Little did I know our lives would forever change in a way we never anticipated.  Our little baby's heart wasn't beating, she had died.  I delivered her later that evening with nearly our whole family and my oldest and dearest friend by our sides.  We held our beautiful daughter, the boys met her, we had family photos taken and then we had to do the unimaginable, say goodbye, forever.  The boys lost their sister, we lost our daughter.
We are so thankful for the community that has reached out and supported us over the past 3 weeks.  This experience, while horribly difficult, has made us see how many amazing, caring friends and family we have supporting us.  Thank you, thank you to all our friends and family!

Monday, October 20, 2014

A Fall Sunday



A visit to the Botanic Gardens during the day followed by dinner and the Bronco game with their little cousin. 




Saturday, October 18, 2014

Playdate on Adler's birthday

For Adler's actual birthday, we went to lunch with one of his best buds at the art museum and then played for awhile.  I ordered Adler some noodles, but he ate my entire goat cheese and beat salad instead while his friend had a huge salad with salmon, funny kids. 


Lots of boys at a pumpkin patch

Yesterday we went to Rock Creek Farm with two of Landon's best friends from school and one of their little brothers (younger than Adler, but quite different in size.  Adler is on the very small side and Will off the charts on the other end).  We started in the large pumpkin patch where you can actually saw off your pumpkin from the vine.  Each boy searched through the fields finding the perfect one for them.   

 Will and Adler in the patch.


After finding the perfect pumpkin, these kids gathered all these pumpkins and carried them into a pile to "make a bench".  I'm not sure what the reasoning behind this was, but it sure was cute to watch them working together.

Eventually we made our way to the kids area where they had mazes, tractors, jumpy castles and a huge slide.  

Big brothers sliding together.


And their younger brothers together.  These two were cracking us up holding hands as they slid down the gigantic slide.  We have had multiple play dates with Will and they have never really connected until yesterday.  
 The boys played in the kids area until they all faded and we quickly left to get everyone fed.




Thursday, October 16, 2014

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

House painting


This picture is from this summer, but I had to post it.  Landon and Adler had a friend over and were all playing in the backyard while I made everyone lunch. His friend came in to tell me that Landon was painting the house.  The boys have done this before with paintbrushes and water and so I didn't really think anything of it, but thought I might just check.  This was different, but pretty funny.  Landon had taken chalk and was coloring random bricks.  It is slowly fading, months later, but Brian and I have come to like the colorful addition in the back.

3 amigos

Adler and two of his best buds from his class at school

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Meeting/play date

This year I decided to help with the Paddington fall festival and be in charge of the games.  Luckily the committee was some of my good friends as well as Adler's good friends.  The meetings were at fun places for the kids and this picture was no exception.  We met at the Lowry Beer garden for the final meeting.  Adler and two of his best friends were happy to attend as long as the dinosaurs could be a part of the meeting.  

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Dinosaur Ridge


Adler has been completely obsessed with dinosaurs recently.  So much that we have many new dino books including n dinosaur encyclopedia, dino figurines and a homemade 6-7 foot long cardboard box ankylosaurus in our kitchen (picture to come later).  A few weeks ago Bri was in Israel for 9 days and we found ourselves with a weekend afternoon with nothing to do.  We took advantage of the beautiful weather and headed 15 minutes west to dinosaur ridge where you can see real dinosaur fossils.  We took a small hike up the ridge and looked at the fossils along the way.  The ridge also has a small museum and a little outdoor area with large dinosaur sculptures.


I told the boys we could either take the hour long bus tour and see more of the fossils than were accessible by our feet or buy something small in the gift shop after the hike.  Adler opted for a hatch a dino and Landon to pan for gems.


Neither boy wanted to bring their sunglasses with us, yet began complaining about how bright it was quickly after we began the hike, hence the lovely facial expression on Adler.

Adler teaching his older brother all about the brachiosaurus.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

"homework"

Yesterday the boys gave each other homework and then diligently worked to complete the assignment the other had given them.



Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Turning Five at Four Mile

Adler's fifth birthday party at Four Mile Historic Park included lots of good friends, panning for fool's gold ("I-RON pyrite"), and a pink dinosaur cake.