October 29th was the first anniversary of the day we learned of Elsie’s death and together we'd decided on a few things to do that day to honor and remember her. After school we wrote short messages to her and tied them onto pink helium balloons, which we let float away from our back yard. Afterwards we walked to the botanic gardens to visit the tree dedicated to her. While at the gardens we also walked around to some favorite spots, including a roll down the grass by the big boys. Perhaps such playful antics seem antithetical to the somber idea of honoring our dead daughter but, to me, they're representative of exactly why we chose the gardens as a place to commemorate her. Going to the gardens has always been a nice thing for us to do and enjoy together as a family and now, even if only symbolically, Elsie can be there with us. We stopped at Shells and Sauce on the way home to have dinner together and little Blane slept though the whole thing.
It was not an easy day. But spending it together this way made it okay. And for that I am grateful.
I bought the pink balloons earlier that day at King Soopers. The women helping me nicely asked what we were celebrating, presumably expecting a little girl's party or some similarly happy event, and was clearly distraught when I told her. She pulled it together though and said she thought it was a nice idea as she filled and tied the three balloons. I walked to the checkout area and she kinda follow me at a distance, which was a little odd but kind of brushed aside (later feeling guilty about even the brief thought that passed though my own mind that she might think I was going to steal them). As I was about to pay, however, she jumped in front of me and payed for the balloons. Maybe it was just a little thing, a few dollars for some balloons, but I was really touched by the gesture that made a very human connection at a moment when it was particularly meaningful.
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