Baby #4

Brian and I are cautiously excited to announce that I am pregnant with our fourth child.   While this can be exciting for others, we hope that you respect and understand that we are still grieving the loss of Elsie.  We ask that as you congratulate us on this pregnancy, you not forget to acknowledge Elsie and her death.  This brings about many emotions, not all of them clear and at times quite confusing and mixed.  This pregnancy will not replace Elsie.  She is, and always will be, our third child, this pregnancy brings our fourth child, one which we are proud to be parents of.   The boys are lucky to be a family of 6 with four children.
We are due October 24th, though will most likely be induced earlier in October due to Elsie's demise so late in pregnancy.  This, we are hoping, will make October a more bittersweet month, rather than one of only difficult memories.  
The boys are cautiously optimistic about this pregnancy.  Landon has said that what happened to Elsie probably won't happen to this baby.  Adler has followed in his previous footsteps of kissing and hugging the baby.  They invested a lot into Elsie's pregnancy and I think they are incredibly brave to embrace this pregnancy with close to equal excitement.  They ask how big the baby is and have named it "little bear" or "gummy bear".   We hope for ourselves, and for them, that they will have a live baby to be amazing big brothers to.   They have been thoughtful brothers to Elsie, especially given she's not even here physically.  They draw her pictures, read her a book every night, turn on a candle to say goodnight and have made memory books of her.  This fourth baby is lucky to have such amazing brothers in his/her life.
We chose not to find out the gender of this baby (if you remember, we didn't know Elsie was a girl either).  I had the maternity 21 testing done (given my "advanced maternal age") and all the testing came back normal for this baby so far.  We asked that they seal and throw away the gender again.
We are all looking forward to meeting this little one.  We thank you all for your support, this baby is lucky to be born into such a supportive network of friends and family.